Sigh.

I have work tomorrow. 10:30 start!

I also failed at "house, etc." I want to apologise to people, but feel it's not really enough of an issue to apologise. I feel a bit rubbish though, if that's satisfactory.

It's too hot.

I have a new charger. If this one breaks, I'll get very upset with the good folk at Maplins.

I wrote down all the Sims careers in my notebook, and noted the pay of the highest position for each. Hacker is the best. Also good are Music, Entertainment and Pro Athlete. Crime pays better than Law Enforcement (by a significant amount!) and the worst careers are Slacker, Military, Law Enforcement and Politics. Just like real life then. I'd like to be a Mad Scientist; they get paid $1000 a day!

Made the error of weighing myself. I am Officially Fat, like, according to NHS charts and whatnot. But, thank you Madame Heatwave for being too hot for me to exercise. Maybe I'll sweat myself thin.

There's far too many carbs in this house, and not enough meat or vegetables. We had a barbeque yesterday, so we've got leftovers from that; pasta, rice, chow mein, curry sauce, chilli sauce. There was quite a bit Vegetables Ahoy! left, so I ate that with sweet potatoes.

Bleugh... Wednesday!

What I would like to say to my landlord.

I owe you five days' rent. That's fine. I'm surprised you didn't bring it up earlier, actually. And, you don't KNOW if one of the tenants paid it? You're trusting him to say "Well, actually, instead of keeping my £40, I'll just give it to you, even though I might have done it before, because you're not sure"? Protip: check who owes what before sending these sorts of emails.

Paraphrased from you: "Carpet was dirty; fridge needed cleaning. Would you want to live in a place like this?"

Answer: No.

Circumstances that were out of our control caused the state of the carpet and fridge.

When two new tenants decided to move in a day before we're out, we were a bit pissed. We're all trying to pack, we need all the space to be able to sort stuff, then they just take half of a lounge they're not entitled to yet. Then, it was raining. They weren't wiping their feet when they were coming in and out every so often, but even if they had, rainwater is dirty. The carpet will get dirty. Have you ever tried to move out, then have to clean up after other people who have no right to be in the house yet?

And, also, that carpet is IMPOSSIBLE to clean. You hoover and hoover, and it's still got bits on it. We had to spend £80 to buy a decent hoover to get the carpet clean.

And the fridge. Oh, that fridge. It's been leaking for MONTHS. We've told you repeatedly, and your response? "Try fixing it yourself." Yes, because since we are the landlords, we have the responsibility to provide ourselves with a working fridge. We did clean the fridge, top to bottom. We washed and dried every shelf and compartment a week before we moved out, but it just got dirty again because of the water. Please fix our fucking fridge.

I notice that you didn't mention how clean the kitchen was, in contrast to the thin layer of sticky in the kitchen that we moved into. Also, a lack of mention of the hard effort put into cleaning the bath, so that it looks white, and presentable.

And, the damp in my room. I think it's damp, but I'm not sure. I'm just fairly certain wallpaper shouldn't be bubbling like that. And, oh, the leaks I get in the corner of the room in winter.

But yes. Thank you for a great year of letting. We hope to have this much fun with your next year.

Girls!

I like two girls!

There is one who does Maths, in my year. She's very pretty, and musical. What I like best about her is her gorgeous curly red hair. And, she looks worried all the time, which is *adorable*.

There is also another girl I met at the last Rocksoc event of the year. I know very little about her, but she is tall, brunette, likes to DJ and likes women. All of these things are good.

Disclaimer: I love David. But, pretty girls remain pretty, even when you're dating the best David ever.

Exam results.

Variational Principles
76 (exam)
Second Year Essay
67.65 (overall); 69 (essay), 60 (presentation)
Metric Spaces
77.07 (overall); 80 (exam), 62 (class tests)
Differentiation
76 (exam)
Numerical Analysis
84 (assignments)
Vector Analysis
79.80 (overall); 78 (exam), 90 (assignments)
Geometry
67.83 (overall); 64 (exam), 90 (assignments)
Analysis III
67.86 (overall); 64 (exam), 92 (assignments)
Mathematical Excursions
79 (assignments/essay)
Algebra II
74.35 (overall); 70 (exam), 99 (assignments)
Introduction to PDEs
61.11 (exam)
Algebra I
75.94 (overall); 74 (exam), 86 (assignments)
Combinatorial Optimisation
59 (exam)

Average: 72.33
Seymour percentage: 77.38

Out of 13 modules, 8 were Firsts, 4 were 2:1s and one was a 2:2.

Why?

The BBC's news feed is useful. Click a button, choose your story. Simple, quick, targeted. Unfortunately, the feed headlines aren't always descriptive, and some are just plain deceptive.

Take, for example, this headline: Billionaire Stanford 'not guilty'. He only got arrested a week ago! How could he be judged not guilty already! Except, the article is about how he is pleading not guilty. Is it too much to add one word? It changes the entire sense of the phrase by removing "pleading".

Also, on the feed, there tends to be five or so comment/analysis type pages for each day. Those headlines are the worst. Honestly, Feature One Through Five is more descriptive. Here are some of today's - "Final Moments", "In crisis". Final moments of what? What's in crisis?

Grr.

Things that are currently upsetting me.

I decided to split my packing into four Phases, one to be completed on each day from Tuesday to Friday. Phase I was a resounding success; my bedroom was cleared of rubbish, and packing was started. Phase II was less successful, but still quite good. Some clearing of rubbish in the lounge was done. Phase III, today's phase, is the largest, and most important, since Phase IV is basically two hours of "What's left? Do it now." So, I need to be quite advanced with packing by now. Except, I am not. I have been sleeping all day, and I have no energy left to pack with.

The more I pack, the more I realise that I'm not living with David for 12 weeks. And, I will see him twice, if I am lucky.

No matter what results I get tomorrow, I will not be able to be happy about them for a long time. I find it hard to appreciate my own achievement because I always look at the bad things first. So, even if I do manage to get a First, I'll beat myself up over something, like modules I might have done worse in. I am not sure what I will do if I get a 2:1, or worse.

I am not looking forward to work. They're starting me on 7 July, seven hours a week until I'm trained, then hours based on who works the best. So, if they don't like me, I can't afford to eat next year.

Life is looking good.

A touch of controversy.

"Give the BNP some respect."

It's a funny thing for someone like me to say, really. I'm British on passport, but of Afro-Caribbean origin. My father grew up in the Caribbean, and my mother's parents moved to Britain from Dominica in the 60's. One of the BNP's main policies is to give people like my father, and my grandparents, money to repatriate, or basically fuck off home. So, I'm not the type you'd expect to be fighting in the BNP's corner.

I'm not really in their corner though. I'm just in favour of equality, democracy, and proper debates. None of this can happen if protesters throw eggs and make it impossible for us to hear what ideas they have.

I have taken the time to look at the BNP website, and look at some of their policies, read some of the articles, observe the comments. (I'm a firm believer in attacking an enemy with your eyes open rather than with second-hand information.) I've seen that some of the members are involved in rather unsavoury things, such as Holocaust denial, and there have been alleged links between violence and racial tensions and areas of high BNP support. (Don't quote me on this; I'm not entirely sure.)

However, I try to draw a line in my head between the BNP as individual people, and the BNP as a unit trying to "reclaim Britain for British people", to paraphrase. This line drawing enables me to think that, yes, they're not very nice people. And if the BNP got into power, the country would be fucked. But, for the sake of democracy, they should be allowed to speak. That way, mass audiences can easily see that their policies are flawed, if not outright dangerous.

If liberals attack them on the grounds that they're "not good people", or for fear of fascism, then we remove the opportunity to beat them in debate fairly. We promote them as martyrs. They've done nothing wrong as a party. They're legitimate, and the seats they won in Europe are a result of nearly a million people using their right to vote to support that party. By shouting at them, and attacking them, we give them the chance to say, "The current establishment don't want us to talk! They know that we are a huge threat to them, because we're a lot better!"

I'm disappointed that people voted BNP. I'm even more disappointed that the vast majority didn't vote at all. Voter apathy is reaching new highs, with the expenses just destroying what little faith in politics people had already. So, only those who are passionate vote. Who's passionate? Fringe party supporters, who see the mainstream voting malaise and realise their time has come.

Protests are important, I realise this. But, free debate and the chance to openly discuss and rubbish ideas is fundamental to democracy working as best as possible. We can't give the BNP the chance to win by sympathy. This is why we must give them respect as a political entity - only then can we truly defeat them.

Taking a closer look.

I like to keep up with BBC News; it's cheaper than a newspaper, and a procrastination device that actually leads to further learning, albeit not about perfect matchings or Gaussian primes. I saw an article today about how the hunger in South Asia has reached a 40 year high. I read it, and it mildly irritated me.

Journalism in general tends to annoy me for the main reason that they use statistics in the same way they use adjectives. They will twist them to make the text more emotive, more touching. Rather than letting statistics be open, frank, and speak for themselves, in a factual neutral environment. They become practically meaningless numbers to play with, rather than offering a reader real information.

First of all, in this article, we open with that 100 million more people are hungry compared to two years ago. Well, 100 million sounds like a lot, doesn't it? There's not that many people in the UK, so it can hit you to think that it's the "equivalent" of all of the UK starving, and a third or so of the people in France.

Except, we're not told how many were hungry two years ago. If, say, 100 people were hungry two years ago, that's a HUGE leap you've made, in relative terms. If it was 500 million hungry, adding 100 million is a smaller percentage gap, and you can put the rise into perspective properly. But, they don't want you to assess that; they just want you to think, "Gosh, that's a lot of people!"

Then, there's the obligatory wage comparison. "Millions of South Asian people live on less than $2 a day." Again, we're being lead to think "Wow! $2 can't even buy me a big enough soda to quench my mad Western thirst. How can they afford ANYTHING?"

Except, again, we're not being given perspective. For example, what's the cost of living in South Asia? Given that these people hungry, and not dead, $2 a day must be enough to sustain some level of life. Not enough to save, or afford a good quality of food or housing, but enough to stay alive. A lower cost of living does mean that a living wage is proportionally lower.

I've been watching a programme where 6 Brits go to South Asia to find out where food comes from. In the programme, they're given about £5 a day in some cases. This would get you the basics: somewhere to sleep, some food. Very few have enough to spend on luxuries, or save for travel. Some can't even afford to live with their families, since a wage doesn't stretch that far. But, they live. They survive.

So, $2 a day isn't good. That's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is that it's taken out of a context. It's just there - a figure. A figure can only have the voice of what text it's nestled in. And when your text is telling you, "Gosh, aren't there lots of hungry people? Wow, they live off the cost of a bottle of Coke!", then that's what you end up thinking after you've read it.

Unless you create your own perspective, which you can only do by knowing something more.