It's not rape o'clock. It never is.

According to the BBC, there's quite a lot of women who think that rape victims should take some responsibility for being raped under certain circumstances.

Let's have a look at this, and get some stuff out there.

Here is a (non-exhaustive) list of things that doesn't immediately mean "It's okay to have sex with me":

• Talking to a man flirtatiously
• Wearing next-to-nothing
• Drinking an entire bottle of tequila, or equivalent
  
• Kissing a guy in a bar or club
  
• Going home with a guy for a coffee/drink
• Talking about sex with a guy
• Getting into bed with a guy
• Being naked with a guy
• Doing foreplay with a guy

Here is a (again, non-exhaustive) list of things that mean "It's okay to have sex with me":

• Saying "It's okay to have sex with me".

The second list is much shorter, I realise. This is because the only way you can consent is if you consent. You can even stop consenting during sex. At which point, consensual sex becomes rape. Of course, if the girl is absolutely silent and appears as relaxed/tense as before, the guy (in a world of sexual oh-my-gosh) might not be thinking of this and looking out for it. This is not a defence of the guy; everyone should check that people want sex all the way through sex. It just seems fair. And nice.

On a side note, how many people actually say, "Do you want to do this?" every time before actually having sex? How many guys really want to hear the true answer? Everyone's had that time when you're desperate to get laid, and your partner is like, "well, I'm not really up for it..." and you're just stuck, aroused as hell in the dark with a sleeping lump of person next to you. It's not fun... but, sex is just much better with consent. So, you can see where I'm going with this.

So, what about this responsibility issue? I think that girls should be careful, of course. Going home with a man you don't know is probably not the best way to stay safe, and incapacitating yourself through drink is, again, not wise. Neither action immediately implies consent to sex.

However, getting into bed naked with a guy you met hours ago could give the impression that you're "up for it". Being too drunk to realise you're pawing at a guy's clothes could give the impression of consent. I think girls should realise the power of actions. They speak louder than words, after all. I am not defending the rapist for "getting it a bit wrong." Clear consent is the only type of consent that's worth having. A slurred "yeah sure, go for it" isn't really consent.

TL;DR - girls should try not to give off the wrong signals, but guys should never use those signals as an excuse.

(I realise this post is pretty hetero-focused. I apologise; I don't know enough about queer rape issues to be able to comment on them. If anyone does know of news articles, etc, I can read, that'd be good.)