I like rubies! And emeralds. Yes... I have the best boyfriend ever, since he bought me emerald earrings for our one year anniversary. Yaaaaaay!
The anniversary was 11 days ago, but I've not been so good at the linear blogging thing.
Exams start on Thursday. I've been studying Algebra a little today, and moving on to Metric Spaces in the late afternoon.
Fall Out Boy's album, Folie à Deux, is quite something. I know it's not great music, but I just enjoy their energy. I'm still a fourteen year old fangirl inside.
Oh, I found The Simpsons online again. Will I ever study again!? Yes. Yes I will. :p
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Frank!
I was in the living room, looking up various things related to Paralympic sports classifications and conjugacy classes when my housemate (the one I don't normally talk to) told me to come and see something.
There was a slug! On the side of the stairs! Just crawling vertically up. It was so cute, except it was in our house. So, I suggested we get a piece of paper for the slug to move onto, then put the paper outside.
So we did that. My housemate named him Frank. Frank the slug.
It was nice that we didn't kill Frank. He's slimy and quite pretty.
There was a slug! On the side of the stairs! Just crawling vertically up. It was so cute, except it was in our house. So, I suggested we get a piece of paper for the slug to move onto, then put the paper outside.
So we did that. My housemate named him Frank. Frank the slug.
It was nice that we didn't kill Frank. He's slimy and quite pretty.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Hung up.
I'm still too hung up about the past. It was nearly four years ago. FOUR! Well, four on July 1st. I can still remember the f*cking date it happened on...
You'd have thought that I'd have stopped thinking about her by now.
But... still, I find myself thinking about her long dark hair, and the way it felt between my fingers. How soft and curly it was. I now recall how warm she was, next to me that night.
Goddammit. I don't care about her! She means nothing. Maybe it's just the idea of her that I miss; her being my first, something that unlocked a door I wasn't sure existed.
I still kinda owe her, I guess.
I can't believe she thought I was in love with her, that's quite funny. (Just like her to be that self-centred, actually...!)
You'd have thought that I'd have stopped thinking about her by now.
But... still, I find myself thinking about her long dark hair, and the way it felt between my fingers. How soft and curly it was. I now recall how warm she was, next to me that night.
Goddammit. I don't care about her! She means nothing. Maybe it's just the idea of her that I miss; her being my first, something that unlocked a door I wasn't sure existed.
I still kinda owe her, I guess.
I can't believe she thought I was in love with her, that's quite funny. (Just like her to be that self-centred, actually...!)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The hunt begins...
I'm spending roughly 36 hours in my hometown, with my parents. During this time, I hope to job hunt.
The ideal plan is to wake up in time to get a lift with my father to the other side of town - that's where he drops off my cousin and brother so they can attend school. From there, I will do the two shopping parks, then move into town.
An exhausting task - I might ask my dad for some money for coffee.
I should probably get to bed then. It'd make things logistically easier if I do all the rounds early in the day. That way, if I do find positions, I can fill in forms over lunch, and go back round to hand in forms.
I should try to dress well tomorrow, make a good impression.
The ideal plan is to wake up in time to get a lift with my father to the other side of town - that's where he drops off my cousin and brother so they can attend school. From there, I will do the two shopping parks, then move into town.
An exhausting task - I might ask my dad for some money for coffee.
I should probably get to bed then. It'd make things logistically easier if I do all the rounds early in the day. That way, if I do find positions, I can fill in forms over lunch, and go back round to hand in forms.
I should try to dress well tomorrow, make a good impression.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Breasts?
This post is going to be about breasts, but might wander.
I've just watched Kirsten's Topless Ambitions, and it was all about how, after 12 years of SMart and children's TV, she's ready for bigger and better things, and lots of presenters "graduated" from children's TV by having fairly sexy photoshoots. She's funny, and she decided to keep her breasts inside her clothes, and work on more stand-up comedy.
Breasts are... nice on other people, I have to say. Soft, round, warm, strokeable. (I had the pleasure of seeing some knitted breasts on the internet the other day, but the pattern to make the nipple was too difficult!) Being gay is really funny, because I really like breasts, but I can't seem to like my own, even though on someone else, I might find them quite appealing.
Most of the trans people I've met have differing relationships with breasts. Some want some, others don't want the ones they have, and there are some who are pretty okay with having breasts, or not having breasts. I met a transgendered person on a workshop, and they had larger breasts than I do (given I'm an E cup, this was quite epic), and they talked about how it was really hard for people to accept them as being transgendered, not just female.
How I feel about my own really does depend on how I feel each day. Sometimes, I have a day where I feel really womanly, and sexy, and having breasts like mine means I can wear the right tops, and just feel like a million fantastic-sexy dollars. Other days, I wake up, and I want nothing more than a big t-shirt and slouchy jeans to hide any sort of figure I may have.
I've never really *liked* them. I remember, being 11 years old, changing for games in the junior room, and, with the arbitrary social groupings, being nearest the door. I remember one day having a perfectly adequate vest, then next day, there were just *breasts* and I was a bit scared, and didn't know what to do. At the same time, another girl thought she had breasts too (but hers were puppy fat, which made everyone laugh. She got her revenge later, but that's another story).
From girls who were "late bloomers", I've heard a lot of "I was jealous of the girls developing first, they were so sexy and the boys loved them," but that was just the opposite case for me. I was massively uncomfortable with my body (and would continue until the age of about 18) and add this to the fact that I was a massive swot, and it's not the image of a sexbomb.
So, breasts. Mine specifically. They're not the ones you see in mens' mags, but I'd be really scared to touch a girl with breasts the size of beachballs and nipples the shape of bullets. It's not really that sexy. Natural is sexy. And, mine are most definitely natural!
They're okay.
They're not *bad*. They've got a size to them (an understatement, many might say!), and they're... pretty good. People do say they're nice.
I remember the first time I went to Marks and Sparks to get my first bra without my mother. Up to this point, we'd only ever shopped in Peacocks, so I'd get a cheap bra in the wrong size, because 8 years ago, breasts for women with D cups and above who shopped in Peacocks and Matalan didn't seem to exist. So, I went, and they told me I had a much smaller back size, and a much larger cup size, I was just amazed at the result.
I don't think any of my readers without breasts could really appreciate what a good fitting bra does for your figure, or your confidence. Clothes fit better, that's probably the first thing you notice. Then, once you've bought it, and you're wearing it out, you just feel... lifted. Your mood is lifted because you are wearing something that fits you and makes you look and feel good.
So, my verdict on breasts is this: they're pretty good. And, I have two. That's pretty good too.
I've just watched Kirsten's Topless Ambitions, and it was all about how, after 12 years of SMart and children's TV, she's ready for bigger and better things, and lots of presenters "graduated" from children's TV by having fairly sexy photoshoots. She's funny, and she decided to keep her breasts inside her clothes, and work on more stand-up comedy.
Breasts are... nice on other people, I have to say. Soft, round, warm, strokeable. (I had the pleasure of seeing some knitted breasts on the internet the other day, but the pattern to make the nipple was too difficult!) Being gay is really funny, because I really like breasts, but I can't seem to like my own, even though on someone else, I might find them quite appealing.
Most of the trans people I've met have differing relationships with breasts. Some want some, others don't want the ones they have, and there are some who are pretty okay with having breasts, or not having breasts. I met a transgendered person on a workshop, and they had larger breasts than I do (given I'm an E cup, this was quite epic), and they talked about how it was really hard for people to accept them as being transgendered, not just female.
How I feel about my own really does depend on how I feel each day. Sometimes, I have a day where I feel really womanly, and sexy, and having breasts like mine means I can wear the right tops, and just feel like a million fantastic-sexy dollars. Other days, I wake up, and I want nothing more than a big t-shirt and slouchy jeans to hide any sort of figure I may have.
I've never really *liked* them. I remember, being 11 years old, changing for games in the junior room, and, with the arbitrary social groupings, being nearest the door. I remember one day having a perfectly adequate vest, then next day, there were just *breasts* and I was a bit scared, and didn't know what to do. At the same time, another girl thought she had breasts too (but hers were puppy fat, which made everyone laugh. She got her revenge later, but that's another story).
From girls who were "late bloomers", I've heard a lot of "I was jealous of the girls developing first, they were so sexy and the boys loved them," but that was just the opposite case for me. I was massively uncomfortable with my body (and would continue until the age of about 18) and add this to the fact that I was a massive swot, and it's not the image of a sexbomb.
So, breasts. Mine specifically. They're not the ones you see in mens' mags, but I'd be really scared to touch a girl with breasts the size of beachballs and nipples the shape of bullets. It's not really that sexy. Natural is sexy. And, mine are most definitely natural!
They're okay.
They're not *bad*. They've got a size to them (an understatement, many might say!), and they're... pretty good. People do say they're nice.
I remember the first time I went to Marks and Sparks to get my first bra without my mother. Up to this point, we'd only ever shopped in Peacocks, so I'd get a cheap bra in the wrong size, because 8 years ago, breasts for women with D cups and above who shopped in Peacocks and Matalan didn't seem to exist. So, I went, and they told me I had a much smaller back size, and a much larger cup size, I was just amazed at the result.
I don't think any of my readers without breasts could really appreciate what a good fitting bra does for your figure, or your confidence. Clothes fit better, that's probably the first thing you notice. Then, once you've bought it, and you're wearing it out, you just feel... lifted. Your mood is lifted because you are wearing something that fits you and makes you look and feel good.
So, my verdict on breasts is this: they're pretty good. And, I have two. That's pretty good too.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Revision.
This post is a sort of reply to a post a friend wrote on her LiveJournal. She wrote about revision, and I will too.
At this present moment in time, I feel like I have got myself into a nice rhythm, consisting of good amounts of study and play.
I wake up in the morning, in between 8am and 10am. I spend a few hours relaxing; I will interweb, write a blog post, check out the news, Facebook, maybe knit a little, or watch David play Empire Earth. Then, I'll shower, eat a light brunch/lunch hybrid, then I'll go up to Housemate Matt's room, where we will work on assignment sheets for the modules we're doing.
In between 4-5pm, we will eat some toast. I might have a cup of tea or coffee.
In between 6-8pm, dinner will be prepared and eaten. Sometimes David cooks, sometimes I do. Sometimes we do it together. Sometimes I'll be absorbed in maths and then David will announce food is ready and that's really awesome, but unfair if I let it happen too much!
After dinner, there is cake and/or icecream (if there is any), then back to Matt's until I am tired, or I crash out.
Crashing out consists of my (already short) attention span fast approaching zero, being confused by simple concepts, and giggling until I cry. I don't always crash out, but it usually happens if I feel I haven't done quite enough for the day, and try to work too hard past 10pm.
I started revision last Sunday, and it took me a couple days to get into this routine. I have four lectures, one on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and this doesn't affect my schedule greatly, since they mostly occur before I'd start work for the day anyway. Out of all the days, Wednesdays are probably going to affect me the most, since I've designated them to be debating days - and desnigating a leisure activity means I get out of the house and interact with non-maths people, which is healthy.
Still, I'm averaging just under a sheet and a half a day. I've done 11, and I have 29 left to go. There are 31 revision days left before exams start. I might have to try and up my pace, if possible, but at worst it must remain steady.
I'm worried about not keeping pace though, since I have at least two weekends with plans coming up, and averaging a sheet a day would bring me too close to exams to be able to practice past papers.
I've been enjoying leisure times though. Before I start work in the afternoon, and after 10pm, I do have time to enjoy myself. David went out for a meal once, I went to a birthday party, we watch films, or HIGNFY, and we generally find time to chill out without going out.
Going out is expensive, and I've not been drunk for so long that it seems slightly pointless. I think I'm also getting A Bit Old; Rachel came over for a curry, and David, Matt, Rachel and I had a really awesome time waiting for the curry to arrive, and then eating it together at the table while talking. It was really nice to just enjoy that with friends.
I'd love a curry right now, actually.
Overall, I'm not too concerned about revision. I've never had a firm strategy before; it used to consist of reading through notes, writing down important theorems, getting bored, repeating, until a Crunch Point about 10 days before exams hit, and then I'd start exam papers, and panic because I'd been reading about but not practising the maths skills required. So, this time, I hope that doing all the assignment sheets will leave me feeling a bit more prepared on how to tackle questions.
I just have to keep it up now.
At this present moment in time, I feel like I have got myself into a nice rhythm, consisting of good amounts of study and play.
I wake up in the morning, in between 8am and 10am. I spend a few hours relaxing; I will interweb, write a blog post, check out the news, Facebook, maybe knit a little, or watch David play Empire Earth. Then, I'll shower, eat a light brunch/lunch hybrid, then I'll go up to Housemate Matt's room, where we will work on assignment sheets for the modules we're doing.
In between 4-5pm, we will eat some toast. I might have a cup of tea or coffee.
In between 6-8pm, dinner will be prepared and eaten. Sometimes David cooks, sometimes I do. Sometimes we do it together. Sometimes I'll be absorbed in maths and then David will announce food is ready and that's really awesome, but unfair if I let it happen too much!
After dinner, there is cake and/or icecream (if there is any), then back to Matt's until I am tired, or I crash out.
Crashing out consists of my (already short) attention span fast approaching zero, being confused by simple concepts, and giggling until I cry. I don't always crash out, but it usually happens if I feel I haven't done quite enough for the day, and try to work too hard past 10pm.
I started revision last Sunday, and it took me a couple days to get into this routine. I have four lectures, one on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and this doesn't affect my schedule greatly, since they mostly occur before I'd start work for the day anyway. Out of all the days, Wednesdays are probably going to affect me the most, since I've designated them to be debating days - and desnigating a leisure activity means I get out of the house and interact with non-maths people, which is healthy.
Still, I'm averaging just under a sheet and a half a day. I've done 11, and I have 29 left to go. There are 31 revision days left before exams start. I might have to try and up my pace, if possible, but at worst it must remain steady.
I'm worried about not keeping pace though, since I have at least two weekends with plans coming up, and averaging a sheet a day would bring me too close to exams to be able to practice past papers.
I've been enjoying leisure times though. Before I start work in the afternoon, and after 10pm, I do have time to enjoy myself. David went out for a meal once, I went to a birthday party, we watch films, or HIGNFY, and we generally find time to chill out without going out.
Going out is expensive, and I've not been drunk for so long that it seems slightly pointless. I think I'm also getting A Bit Old; Rachel came over for a curry, and David, Matt, Rachel and I had a really awesome time waiting for the curry to arrive, and then eating it together at the table while talking. It was really nice to just enjoy that with friends.
I'd love a curry right now, actually.
Overall, I'm not too concerned about revision. I've never had a firm strategy before; it used to consist of reading through notes, writing down important theorems, getting bored, repeating, until a Crunch Point about 10 days before exams hit, and then I'd start exam papers, and panic because I'd been reading about but not practising the maths skills required. So, this time, I hope that doing all the assignment sheets will leave me feeling a bit more prepared on how to tackle questions.
I just have to keep it up now.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Let's review, it's been a while.
There have been three exams. Probably, on the whole, the easiest ones I'll be taking this summer, since they were all first-term modules. Although, I have to say, I'm looking forward to Algebra II because I enjoy group theory and will enjoy revising that material.
Overall, I am quietly optimistic, but not overly optimistic. I think that I got more than 55 in all of them, and we'll see what happens.
To be eligible to go onto the Masters course, I have to get "good 2:1 marks" on a certain proportion of my modules. Given my course selections, it works out that I need to get the good marks on about two-thirds, three-quarters of my courses. So, it's potentially doable.
~~~
Recently, I've been generally feeling rubbish and very lethargic. I go to be around 11:30pm every night, wake around 8am (give or take an hour). Then, sometimes I'll end up lying in bed again at 10:30 ish and fall asleep for a couple hours. If not, then at some point in the afternoon, I'll end up having a two, three hour nap. And, despite this ridiculously large napping, and the fact I'm not very active in the days, I still get tired enough to sleep through 8 hours.
That's probably not healthy.
I'm trying to eat better. I've taken to eating soup or omelette-pancake for lunch, since it's healthy-ish, I think. I should eat more fruit, and vegetables, generally. I've been making a LOT of cake recently. It's easier than cookies, because you're not sat around the oven the whole time to try and get that perfect "gooey-chewy" consistency that occurs in between seven and eight minutes of baking if your oven is mad-zealous like ours is.
~~~
Then there's the constant worry with money. Overall, I don't have enough this term, but it's workable, given I'm going out so little. And, with group meals, I can afford to eat meat if the boys buy it, and I provide pasta and basics.
I'm worried about finding a job. I asked my mother to look for me this weekend, although I'll have to check she does do this in a couple days' time. I'm going home for my nana's birthday, we're going to a show in Central London, and I'll be with my parents for a couple days after, since I don't start lectures for the week until Tuesday afternoon. So, I can job scout there too.
~~~
TL;DR - I would give life a C+ on the termly report.
Overall, I am quietly optimistic, but not overly optimistic. I think that I got more than 55 in all of them, and we'll see what happens.
To be eligible to go onto the Masters course, I have to get "good 2:1 marks" on a certain proportion of my modules. Given my course selections, it works out that I need to get the good marks on about two-thirds, three-quarters of my courses. So, it's potentially doable.
~~~
Recently, I've been generally feeling rubbish and very lethargic. I go to be around 11:30pm every night, wake around 8am (give or take an hour). Then, sometimes I'll end up lying in bed again at 10:30 ish and fall asleep for a couple hours. If not, then at some point in the afternoon, I'll end up having a two, three hour nap. And, despite this ridiculously large napping, and the fact I'm not very active in the days, I still get tired enough to sleep through 8 hours.
That's probably not healthy.
I'm trying to eat better. I've taken to eating soup or omelette-pancake for lunch, since it's healthy-ish, I think. I should eat more fruit, and vegetables, generally. I've been making a LOT of cake recently. It's easier than cookies, because you're not sat around the oven the whole time to try and get that perfect "gooey-chewy" consistency that occurs in between seven and eight minutes of baking if your oven is mad-zealous like ours is.
~~~
Then there's the constant worry with money. Overall, I don't have enough this term, but it's workable, given I'm going out so little. And, with group meals, I can afford to eat meat if the boys buy it, and I provide pasta and basics.
I'm worried about finding a job. I asked my mother to look for me this weekend, although I'll have to check she does do this in a couple days' time. I'm going home for my nana's birthday, we're going to a show in Central London, and I'll be with my parents for a couple days after, since I don't start lectures for the week until Tuesday afternoon. So, I can job scout there too.
~~~
TL;DR - I would give life a C+ on the termly report.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
