Sigh.

There's a few words that people at school used so much that I wanted to faux-Columbine them. But, I didn't. Instead, I blogged about them, got suspended, and they ignored me. Success. However, the words lingered on.

One was "banter".

I was just thinking about this while talking to one of the guys I talk to. This is not a guy who is one of my Friends. The guys who are my Friends are the ones I can't imagine sexually, even if I've been with them before, and I just trust them to give me advice, and I don't mind them seeing me crumple.

There are quite a few guys I talk to who are mates, buddies, acquaintances, people I'll talk to, ask how their day is, debate something, talk about women and beer, whatever. Old flames, guys who I dated and it ended "mutually", "it's for the best". Guys who are probably still attracted to me, but I am not interested in them more than good chat. Banter, to use the word.

So, I'm talking to one of these guys. I'm talking about how women are so pretty and yet so freakin' complicated, and I ask if guys get jealous if their girl is checking out someone else, a guy or a girl. And he says: Well, I do, but that's me, isn't it?

I'm talking about women again. How a pretty girl captures my attention and it takes a little while to shake it off - he says he manages to not let girls like that get to him. [Pack of lies, of course.]

I start to say something else.

He's going "Yeah, but..." and I'm like "but whut?" and we do this for a minute.

Then he blurts out that he wants me. And he gets jealous when I'm talking about women and D. After my silence, he announces he's logging off in a way that clearly indicates it's because of what he's said.

So, behind my Audrey's screen, I'm thinking. Well, how can I be friends with a guy who keeps wanting to keep crossing that line? The line is RIGHT THERE. "Past the line" territory includes telling me you want me, or anything you might tell a girl you're interested in, hoping she's interested too.

I am a bit of a flirt, and I love to play around a bit. But, I never let it get too serious on my end. They know I'm playing. So, why can't they just play too, and leave the serious at the door? I've got someone else. The boys had their chances, when I was single and bitter and alone. They let it fall away, they left me, or couldn't handle me.

Now I'm happy and taken, all the sudden, they just come back, they've changed, they're getting it together.

I would say "Sorry, I'm taken," but I'm not sorry at all. Not in the slightest. :)